Christmas can be a painful time. | Susan Jane Therapy
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Christmas can be a painful time.

December 03, 2019

Christmas can be a painful time whether it’s your first year without someone or you were bereaved long ago. Facing Christmas alone, or whilst grieving, can be a real daunting prospect. 


As time passes, special occasions like Christmas can help us to begin to focus on happier memories of good times shared in the past. However, they can also be difficult, intensely emotional times when we need to look after ourselves and those around us.


If you have experienced the death of someone who was important to you, you might be finding it difficult to adjust to the changes happening in your life right now. Grief can shake everything up - your beliefs, your routines, and even your sense of normality.

Bereavement is the time we spend adjusting to loss. There is no right or wrong way to feel during the bereavement period - everyone copes in their own way.

Grief, although normal, can manifest in unexpected ways. Some people get angry, some people withdraw into themselves and some people become completely numb. Sometimes, grief can trigger mental health conditions, like Depression or Anxiety. 

Counselling can provide support during these very difficult times, helping and supporting you cope with grief, and adjust to life without your loved one. 

Talking about the loss often allows a person to adjust to their new life with all its changes - good and bad. Keeping things bottled up or denying the sadness could prolong the pain. Any loss has to be acknowledged for us to move forward. Counselling tries to help people find a place for their loss so they can carry on with life and eventually find acceptance.


When someone you care about suddenly leaves your life, it's not a case of taking time out to recover. 'Recovery' suggests that you will emerge exactly the same as you were before. In reality, all of your experiences shape the person you are, and experiencing the death of someone you care about often has the biggest impact.

Bereavement is about trying to accept what happened, learning to adjust to life without that person and finding a place to keep their memory alive while you try to get along as best you can.

Losing someone close to you brings waves of complicated emotions that may be totally overwhelming. Whatever you are feeling at any one time, it is normal... These feelings will come and go, and perhaps appear when you are least expecting it. You mind and body are processing what is happening to you, and you need to allow yourself time to grieve.


Most people go through all of the stages of grief, but not everyone moves between them smoothly. Sometimes, people get stuck and find it difficult to move on. If you feel this is the case, then please get in touch to see if therapy could help.


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